I am tired of hearing women saying “He is bald” as if he was ill or rude. Being bald is like growing older and getting wrinkles. It’s natural. If a woman is obsessed with dating men with full heads of hair, then she could be classed as extremely shallow and overly obsessed with youth. Of course her current hairy beau could end up bald later on, so she may want to rethink her position. If a man said that he wouldn’t date half the female population because their breasts were too small, he would be labeled a chauvinist fool. Yet I constantly hear women express their interest that “my man must have a full head of thick shiny locks.” It is as if a sign of social success is to date the man with the most hair.
Interestingly a man with a purposely shaved head doesn’t count. He has the ability to grow hair but he has chosen to have a shaved head due to fashion. Maybe he is a member of the armed forces and it’s expected of him. Maybe he is P. Diddy. Either way, many women appear not to want to date men who don’t have the potential for a full head of hair. It’s part of natural attraction and therefore a major part of dating.
A woman I know once said about her prospective date; “Oh no, he won’t do at all. He has no hair. I want a man with a full head of hair like my daddy had!” Another girl friend said to me; “I adore men with shaved heads, bald men are so masculine and sexy. They remind me of Bruce Willis.” So my initial impression here is that it’s down to personal taste.
Dating is initially based on physical attraction and subconsciously we are seeking a healthy mate to procreate with. A lack of hair is tied in with age and maturity, but for some reason half of women view a lack of hair as unhealthy. I know a great many women who will not date balding men at all. I was even watching an episode of Sex and the City the other evening when one of the characters said she wouldn’t consider a man walking by because he was losing his hair. It is as if he had some infectious disease.
Strangely, the cult of hair seems most prevalent in the US, which is partly due to genes. With the heavy influence of Eastern European males through successive American generations, one finds a society where balding men aren’t quite as prevalent as in other countries. In Scandinavia, the UK and Western Europe for example, hair loss appears to be far more common and is therefore far more accepted. To make my very unscientific point, I was once drinking in a bar in Anchorage where I was the only man in a packed bar who had no hair! In Europe this would be unthinkable.
The first thing we need to spell out here is that having a bald head has nothing to do with poor health. It is generally a process of age. It is the same as a woman’s breasts sagging, or eye getting wrinkles around then. Being bald is a gradual process that appears to affect different men at different ages. I think the reason why women are so affected by the image of a bald head is because of the media and Hollywood. The leading man has always been portrayed in western cinema as a man with a full head of hair. Hair is also the natural domain of youth. Therefore inevitably women grow up expecting their men to have a full head of locks just like a Rolling Stone, David Bowie or Clint Eastwood. Subconsciously they want their children to have full heads of hair too.
There are rare exceptions. Sting has been losing his hair for years but is seen as very sexy. Nicholas Cage appears to be losing his hair but this doesn’t affect his attraction. Sean Connery has lit the fires of generations of women and is probably the sexiest bald man alive. So maybe hair has nothing to do with it. Maybe it is the whole package, the overall attractiveness of the person concerned. Success and confidence levels certainly assist any man, whatever his hair length and this should be taken into consideration.
The issue for bald men then is confidence when dating. If you are losing your hair gradually then the best thing one can do is never cover it up. The sweep-over hair styles of yesterday have long since gone and any man with a lack of thick hair should take a long hard look at Bruce Willis and get to the barbers for a shave. A man has to learn to live with not having lots of hair, which doesn’t happen in an instant. It is one thing to have one’s head shaved on purpose, another to have ones hair thinning by the month.
My own advice is to take the bull by the horns and accept that not all women will love you as a bald man, but then they may not have gelled with you anyway, so who cares? If a woman judges you by your hair she is probably not worth knowing in the first place. And if you are a woman, imagine someone judging you by the size of your thighs. Instead guys, remember that around half the female population will love you for your looks and see a shaved head as very masculine, virile or unimportant in the overall equation.
My advice is to join the shaven-headed generation and give yourself some confidence and panache by dressing well, looking good and getting your nicely buffed head a tan. Be cool, be sophisticated and learn to go for the ladies who love your style. Don’t aim for the ones who want a surrogate luscious-locked salon owner. I’d have rather been Yul Brinner than Casy Kasem any day.